Ridiculous Fantasy-Metal Video-Off

Okay. So here are two recent fantasy-themed metal videos by two very different metal bands, both of whom I really like.

Exhibit A: Polish purveyors of power metal Pathfinder:

Comments: Whoa, budget. Nice almost lesbian kiss for the fan-service portion of the video. Nice windmill headbanging. How much does this band shred? This band actually has lines in their songs like “Humans, Dwarves and Elves, establish here the united kingdom.” Are they named after the RPG? One can only hope. Mascara budget was through the roof. And, last but not least… TO BE CONTINUED!!!! I CAN’T WAIT TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS TO GIRL IN WHITE!!!!

Exhibit B: America’s own kings of Sabbath-worship, The Sword:

Comments: I’m glad The Sword continues to embrace how 70s they are. Holy shit… I just realized they’re the heroes in their own video trilogy. That’s pretty ballsy considering they just look like a bunch of stoner dudes. Whoa, less budget. I can’t decide how I feel about the fact that this video is mostly just them wandering around nonchalantly stabbing witches. I think we need a showdown between the scantily clad evil women in this video and the scantily clad evil women in the other video. The red screen thing looked pretty cool. Obi-Wan Kenobi has really let himself go, apparently.

While I find both videos to be so ridiculous as to be almost beyond parody, I still can’t

stop watching and loving them. Discuss.

11 thoughts on “Ridiculous Fantasy-Metal Video-Off

  1. Yep, it’s official, I am too old for Thrash metal. And I thought French Heavy metal was painful.

  2. You mean I get to feel young for a change? Sweet!

    I’m curious: which French band(s) are you referring to?

  3. I think they were called Der Kaiser (for a French heavy metal band, right?)… maybe. I have the album floating around \, still on vinyl. Got it on a trip to England. Sounds like someone torturing a moose.

  4. Lately I have retreated from the frontlines of the metal that is being produced. Too much stuff coming out for me to pay attention/give a good listen to, what with college and work. So I have gone to my fallback position and I’ve buried myself to the eyes in viking metal. Amon Amarth, Turisas, Falconer and whatnot.

  5. And btw Temmogen, the French do a lot of things in music that twist the ear. I tried listening to French rap when I was starting out learning the language, and I had to stop because I thought my brain was tearing itself out of my skull.

  6. There’s nothing wrong with burying yourself in Amon Amarth, Turisas, and Falconer.

  7. Sweet, Warp Riders is one of my favorite albums of last year, The Sword rocks.
    Though I think I like the video for Lawless Lands better than this one. Good stuff though!

  8. I’ve never knowingly heard French metal, much less French rap. But I have heard both genres in Japanese. One was awesome, the other was just strange. And what are you talking about Todd? Damn it, anything Tristan does or says is awful. It doesn’t matter what it is. He could be the Vag Whisperer, calling hot girls from all around, and farting hundred dollar bills, and it would still be awful.

  9. I have to say, though, I didn’t actually watch the second one, and got only partly through the first of these videos. The sound was way too 80s for me. It actually reminded me of Black Sabbath after Ozzie. Specifically Valhalla. Not sure why, but that’s what popped into my head. By the way, post my comment insulting Tristan, it’s always funny to insult him.

  10. The Pathfinder vid was clearly superior, and their musical skill much more in evidence. The Sword track was too repetitive, and WTF spaceship? Although the space witch was cuter than any of the gals in the Pathfinder vid.

    Really, if you can’t make yourselves the heroes of your metal videos, why bother?
    (Or if you’re Lordi, the villains).

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