Outrageous Fortune: A Tragicomedy Fiasco

Outrageous Fortune: A Tragicomedy Fiasco

Written by Megan Pedersen
With inspiration by Scott Underwood

“The play’s the thing wherein I’ll catch the conscience of the king” – Hamlet, Act 2, Scene ii

Your mom married your uncle. Your girlfriend couldn’t wait to kill herself over you. And you just found out you’ve been walking around with a donkey’s head all afternoon. Life is tough in ol’ Bill Shakespeare’s world. The best you can usually hope for is a nice quickie marriage at the end of a long tortuous journey.

Or maybe you’ve been trotting the boards at the Globe making those stories come to life. You’d better watch out for the rotten fruit the unwashed rabble will throw at you if they don’t like the show. But I wouldn’t worry too much – Billy Boy put lots of fart jokes in this one.

Movie Night: Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, Shakespeare in Love, Romeo & Juliet, Hamlet

RELATIONSHIPS:

1: FAMILY
1. Aunt-Mother/Uncle-Father and Child
2. Siblings
3. Cousins
4. Parent and child
5. Distant relatives
6. Betrothed couple

2: WORK
1. Gravediggers
2. Men-at-arms
3. Tutor and student
4. Merchant and servant
5. Actors
6. Professional rivals

3: FRIENDSHIP
1. Best friends
2. Fair-weather friends
3. Mentor and protégé
4. Manipulator and victim
5. Bad family blood
6. Mutual keepers of an ominous secret

4: ROMANCE
1. Star-crossed lovers
2. On again, off again lovers
3. Can’t stand you now, but we’re actually soulmates
4. Unrequited lust
5. Spouses
6. Poet/Artist and muse

5: TROUBLE
1. Ghost in need of avenging/Avenger of said ghost
2. Royal assassins
3. Members of rival houses
4. Impudent strumpets
5. Thieves
6. Obsessed/object of obsession

6: COMMUNITY
1. Knight and squire
2. Prince/Princess and commoner
3. King/Queen and Fool
4. Unwashed rabble
5. Witches
6. Travelling minstrels

NEEDS:

1: TO GET LAID…
1. …by your sweetheart, to prove you’ve still got it going on.
2. …by an innocent, to sully their good name.
3. …to hurt someone you desperately love.
4. …by a certain someone, to win a bet.
5. …by your old lover, to rekindle the romance.
6. …by anyone, for the first time.

2: TO GET REVENGE…
1. “The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.”
2. …by teaching them a lesson they won’t forget.
3. …for not getting that promotion you were promised.
4. …for making you fall in love with an ass.
5. …on your meddling family for messing up your life.
6. …on everyone for the indignities you’ve suffered.

3: TO GET RESPECT…
1. …from an overly ambitious spouse.
2. …by delivering a rousing speech to an unruly mob.
3. …by murdering a dictator.
4. …by imparting advice on the young people of the realm.
5. …from your emotionally distant father.
6. …from your friend, for delivering them in their hour of need.

4: TO GET OUT…
1. …of an arranged marriage to a horrible person.
2. …of town before they catch you for what you’ve done.
3. …of this too t

oo solid flesh and kill yourself already.
4. …that damn’d spot. Out I say!
5. …of an obligation by pretending to be insane.
6. …of a crushing debt that’s come due.

5: TO GET RICH…
1. …by killing the king and taking his place.
2. …by stealing everything that’s not nailed down.
3. …by tricking someone who trusts you.
4. …by going to war with France.
5. …by being the last one standing when the dust settles.
6. …by marrying into a wealthy family.

6: TO GET THE TRUTH…
1. …about someone’s infidelity.
2. …about your father’s murder.
3. …about the mistake that haunts you.
4. …about the identity of the bewitching minx you met.
5. …about who your real friends are.
6. …about whether or not they’re really dead.

OBJECTS:

1: WEAPONS
1. An executioner’s blade
2. A poisoned pearl
3. A hangman’s noose
4. “Is this a dagger I see before me, the handle toward my hand?”
5. A white hot poker
6. An asp’s sting

2: VALUABLES
1. A flock of sheep
2. One third of your father’s kingdom
3. A rich jewel in an Ethiope’s ear
4. Three caskets made of gold, silver and lead
5. “With this excellent disguise they’ll never suspect I’m really a woman/man.”
6. A turquoise ring

3: UNSAVORY
1. A human skull
2. A pound of flesh
3. A torture device
4. A barrel of wine
5. An Indian changeling
6. A blood stained toga

4: TRANSPORTATION
1. The wagon of a travelling troupe of actors
2. “A horse! a horse! my kingdom for a horse!”
3. A pirate ship
4. A resplendent chariot
5. On a raft, set adrift in the ocean
6. A half-dead donkey

5: SENTIMENTAL
1. A broken locket
2. A handkerchief
3. Battle scars received on St. Crispin’s Day
4. A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing
5. A love poem
6. A family ring

6: MAGICAL
1. A bubbling cauldron
2. A fairy’s curse
3. A wizard’s spell books
4. A staff that controls the weather
5. A ghostly visage
6. A witch’s prophesy

LOCATIONS:

1: JOLLY OLD ENGLAND
1. The Tower of London
2. On the banks of the River Thames
3. Under London Bridge
4. Fleet Street
5. Westminster Abbey
6. Whitehall Palace

2: RESIDENCES
1. A whorehouse
2. A country manor
3. A townhouse
4. A guild house
5. The poorhouse
6. Ye Olde Town Inn

3: THE GLOBE THEATRE
1. In the pit with the rabble
2. In the balcony with the nobles
3. Just under the trap door
4. In the tiring house (backstage)
5. On stage
6. In the heavens (ceiling), waiting to make a dramatic entrance

4: OUTSIDE
1. A deserted island
2. A mountaintop
3. A graveyard
4. A battlefield
5. A forest (magical or otherwise)
6. A farm

5: AROUND TOWN
1. A nunnery
2. The family mausoleum
3. A courtroom
4. The docks
5. The gutter
6. The stables

6: AT THE CASTLE
1. A balcony outside your bedchamber
2. The ramparts overlooking the sea
3. The throne room
4. The family chapel
5. In the rank sweat of an enseamed bed
6. In the banquet hall

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